My Path To Becoming An Author (Part 1)

When I was a child I loved writing poems.  Stringing together lines of words that ended in rhyme while keeping each line relevant to the overall message was a challenge that came easy to me.  The words 'challenge' and 'easy' sound ironic in the same sentence, I realize, but maybe that's why I liked it.  It was both for me.  I didn't feel like I had to try that hard at it and I was always proud of the finished product.  The very first poems I wrote (that I remember) were for an Author's Award in 5th grade.  I forget the official name of this contest, but so many grades and so many schools participated in it.  I believe it was mandatory at my school so every kid had to write a book.  And then two kids from each class from each school were chosen as winner and runner-up to read their book to the masses at what would later be my high school.  I got runner-up for my book that I creatively entitled...Poems.  I felt extremely proud and although I attended the event, I had to leave before my turn to read due to another conflict, piano recital I think.  But this is where my love for writing began.  I actually found the book sprinkled with discoloration due to years in a box.  Here is the first poem from that book:

Day To Night

The sun rose bright
with all its might.
And the breeze was cool
just like a pool.

And at night 
when everything was out of sight
the moon showed out
without a doubt.

The final poem of the book.  Saved the best for last.

Pretty epic, eh?  In 5th grade I thought it was awesome.


As I barely treaded above water through three of the worst years of my life, the torture that is middle school, I continued to write but with a little more maturity and knowledge of the real world.  The first poem I wrote that I was extremely proud of was called What's Happening In Our World.  I had just finished 7th grade.  My grandma even framed it and hung it in her guest bedroom, which to my 13-year-old self equalled success.

What's Happening In Our World

What's happening in our world today?

I know it's not very good.

There's drive-by shootings all the time

and there's gangs in the hood.

Our streets and yards are filled with litter,

our air full of pollution.

If we all work together

I'm sure we'll find a solution.

Wars break out in all countries.

All soldiers risk their lives.

God rest their souls

if any of them dies.

There's those who drive drunk

and get off scot-free.

Although they might've hurt somebody

they only have to pay a fee.

There's cigarettes, alcohol and drugs

put into the hands of our children.

Some of these kids may even

get it from their own kin.

A mother kills her babies

or maybe they're forlorn.

How could a mom do this

when they are her own born?

What's happening in our world today?

I wish we could do more.

If there is a place where none of this was true,

I would open that door.

This catapulted me into many future poems, some written to boyfriends as a romantic gesture, some mandatory for English classes, and some to relieve teenage angst I was going through.  By high school graduation I had filled an entire notebook.

Here's the last poem in the notebook.  It was written on April 9, 2001.  Fourteen years ago.

The Flight of Time

Time flies by

Fleeting so fast

That it escapes through my fingers - 

Out of my grasp.

I try to hold on,

But time has its way

Of making each year

Grow shorter by the day.

I yearn for each hour

To prolong its bustled hurry.

The shortness of life

Puts me in a fury.

For every single day

You learn something new

Whether it's factual, theoretical

Or something about you.

The things there are to know

And the deeds there are to do

Each make a difference

And could start a life anew.

The family I've known

And the friends I've met

Have formed my life to something

I will never regret.

Time is so precious.

It's the most important thing we've got.

It makes up your life

Whether it's a little or a lot.

Some experience decades,

While others enjoy a century.

Others only get a taste of life

And leave us in a hurry.

I've lived through childhood,

And many school days.

Now I pray to continue on

Without any delays.

I want to experience marriage

And children of my own.

I want to go to Paris,

And I don't want to die alone.

I want to start a career

And be successful at what I do.

I want to retire and move somewhere warm

Where the skies are always blue.

I want to see my grandchildren

Play in the sand.

I want to experience everything

That I possibly can.

For then when I pass on

And up to Heaven I climb,

I can die happy

And move to the next dimension of time.

At this point you may be looking at the title of this blog and thinking "Does she want to publish these pieces of crap she wrote during her grade school days?"  The answer is no.  These poems and all the other ones I wrote in between just gave me practice and experience for my next unplanned project that surprised even myself.

The summer between high school and college I had a random idea.  I don't remember exactly when or why I thought of it, but one day I sat down and started writing a children's story in rhyme.  And what's really weird was I was not fond of children.  I retired from babysitting when I was 14 if that gives any inclination of my thoughts on little kids at that time.  It was so long ago I don't remember my mind set during the project.  Before I was done with it, I left for my freshman year of college.  I don't believe I touched it that whole school year, but when I returned home that first summer my motivation came back to complete it.  And after I wrote my last verse and reread it I knew it was good enough to publish.  But there were 2 problems - I had no knowledge of or direction on how to publish a book and I had no money to pay for it even if I figured it out.  So it sat.  And sat.  And moved houses.  And sat.  For the past 14 years I've never once thought 'that book will never get published.'  Many times when you read things you wrote in the past, you laugh at the stupidity or immaturity of it, kinda like what I do with those 5th grade poems above.  But this children's book was different.  Any time I've read it over the past 14 years, I still love it.  The ambition to publish it has always been there, I just needed the motivation.

When Joe and I decided to pursue the stay at home mom life, we had a little secret up our sleeves.  I could have stopped working 3 1/2 months before I did, but Joe proposed a brilliant idea.  If I continued working for a few more months, my paychecks would go into a new savings account that I could later use towards publishing my book.  It was my book publishing savings account.  That would give me a small stack of money to debit from while not feeling guilty for using "Joe's money" to fulfill my dream.  It would also allow us to see how we'd live on Joe's income alone while still having the security of my job (just in case it didn't work).  So for those last 3 1/2 months I drudged into my office every morning chanting, "This is for the book.  This is for the book."  I've been home for almost a year now, getting accustomed to my new life, knowing that savings account is sitting there waiting for me, but still always distracted by everything else that needs to get done.
Then, very recently, I was looking up inspirational quotes for a project and I came across a few that screamed at me.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."  -Neale Donald Walsch

"A man who dares waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life."  -Charles Darwin

"Try and fail but never fail to try."  -Jared Leto

"Action is the foundational key to all success."  -Pablo Picasso

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.  The second best time is now."  -Chinese Proverb

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."  -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."  -Winston Churchill

That last one really hit me the hardest because I honestly think I've thought about publishing my book every day since I wrote it.  It's that one thing that is always lingering next to every other thought I have.  I have another morbid thought that always accompanies it which is 'I hope I don't die before it happens.'  So I'm forging ahead.  There's no better time to do it than now while I'm home.  I also really want this book to come to life while I have young children.  I've always had the intention of going back to work when kids are in full-time school, but if I can put the beginner work in now and create a writing career while I'm home, I may never have to go back to the corporate world.  Becoming a full-time writer that gets paid would be a dream come true.  I have other ideas for books, children and adult, and as long as I keep writing I think more ideas will continue to blossom.  I wish I had never stopped writing in the first place, but am so glad I'm back at it.

So I'm now in the very most beginning stages of becoming an author (hopefully).  I plan on blogging about my path to
1. Keep myself motivated to continue no matter what obstacles come my way and
2. Possibly help others pursuing the same dream.
As I do research, make decisions, take action, get rejected, etc I will document my steps here on my blog.  This is only Part One to what I hope turns into a successful Part Ten, Part Twenty, Part Fifty or more.  Whatever it takes, this book will get published!


I still plan on blogging about other random things in tandem with my Author posts to hone my writing skills.  Be on the lookout for one about anxiety!