What Makes You Forget To Eat and Poop?

"What to do when you don't know what to do with your life."

That's the depressing phrase I typed into the Google search bar on a recent trip to Florida.  Don't get me wrong - I am loving my life.  My marriage is great, my daughter is happy and healthy, I don't have the stress of a professional job, I get to wear sports bras every day (or no bra if I'm home all day), we have food on the table, we see distant family fairly often, I have time to enjoy my hobbies...I really could go on and on.  I feel very blessed and happy.  But I still had this lingering question looming over me.  I was 33 and still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  One day our child (hopefully children) will be in school full time and at this point I plan on going back to work, but to what?  I put 10 years into media/marketing/advertising/sales and am not up for going back to that.  My degree in TV Production still excites me, but I'm afraid I'm too far removed from the technical side having not used that equipment and software for so long.  I don't want to go back into something that would make me miserable, nor do I want to start over in an industry where I had once climbed up many rungs of the ladder.  I know what to expect going back to the workforce after being a stay at home mom.  It's grim.  And if I'm going to start at the bottom I'd rather start in something new that I enjoy rather than something I've already done that stressed me out.  So back to my Google search.  I clicked on a few links that lead me to articles written by psychiatrists who asked ridiculously zealous questions like "what's your purpose on this earth" or "what were you meant to do."  These questions were too broad and the answers are what I was hoping the Internet could miraculously tell me.  Then I saw a link that read 7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose.  It wasn't much different than what a lot of other links said but I clicked on it anyways and discovered Mark Manson.

I've since read a lot of his articles but I want to focus on this one because it was a good one for me to land on.  Instead of asking me overly ambitious questions that I couldn't answer about even myself, he asked questions that were on my level of mediocre intellect.  Questions such as "What's your favorite shit sandwich?" and "What makes you forget to eat and poop?"  These were questions I could answer!  And I actually sat down at my computer and spent a couple hours thinking and typing out my answers.  Pretty much every one of my answers had to do with writing in some capacity.  But the questions are written in a way that would help anyone no matter their interests.  If you still ask yourself, "what do I want to be when I grow up," even if you're 60, spending quality time on these 7 questions may truly benefit you.  If you choose to check his link out and answer his questions I'd love to hear what you find out about yourself!

My Path To Becoming An Author (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1, check it out here: My Path To Becoming An Author (Part 1)

Do you know what's really, really daunting when you're trying to become a first-time author?  Looking at just one publisher website that says, "We receive more than 1,000 submissions every month."  One THOUSAND...CHILDREN book manuscripts...every MONTH...to just ONE publisher.  That means there are 1,000 people just like me who think they've written this great book and expect this publisher to like it over the other 999 this month alone.  Except some of these other 999 people may already be published authors which gives them a one-up.  Some of them may have insider connections that I don't have.  Some of them may have started their publisher search long ago and they know submission tricks I don't.  Some of them may be using an agent which is a huge bonus in this industry.  And many of them probably have a way better book on their hands than me.  Competition.  Competition. Competition.  It's not stopping me from moving forward, but it sure as hell is intimidating.

Through all those years that my manuscript sat collecting dust, I imagined one day finally sitting down and searching online for children's book publishers, sending them my simple pdf document and waiting for rejections and hopefully one acceptance.  Simple as that.  Everything seems simple when you don't know anything about it yet.  Maybe it used to be that simple.  It probably never was.  All I know is I was way uneducated on this process.  As I've begun the research stage I am learning so many things which are elongating the process, but also finally making decisions that I've been contemplating for years.

Two of the biggest reasons I hadn't taken a step forward with all of this since college was indecisiveness regarding these two matters:
1. Traditional Publishing vs Self Publishing
2. Ask one of my many creative friends to illustrate vs hire someone unknown from an illustration company

These two conflicts literally kept me from doing anything at all with my book over the past 13 years.  I was always scared of making the wrong decisions.  But I finally told myself that making no decision at all is worse than making the wrong one.  I'd rather screw this all up and learn from it than always wonder "what if."  So before I did anything else I had to research and debate those two dilemmas, because the answers determined my next actions.

Despite the "1000 submissions" statement on that publisher site, it's actually really easy to get a book published nowadays due to self-publishing options.  Originally I thought this was the route I would take because it would be quicker and easier.  But as I did my research I started thinking harder about what I wanted out of this.  Here's a quick snapshot of the differences:

Traditional Publishing	Self-Publishing
I get paid	I pay
Helpful advertising/marketing	Self-market
More credibility	Less credibility
Lots of work	Easier
Slow (as in years)	Fast (as in months)
Involves add’l writing (query, proposal, cover letter, etc)	No add’l writing
Publisher buys rights to book	I am the publisher
Little say on illustrations	Much say on illustrations
Distributes book for me	Self-sell
More exposure	Little exposure
Includes editing, formatting, art professionals	Find professionals myself; pay all those people out of pocket

There are pros and cons on both sides, but basically the fundamental differences are Time, Money and Control.  

After contemplating the two options I decided I'm not doing this just so my family and closest friends with kids buy my amateurly-done book off of Amazon.  I think my story is enjoyable, teaches a lesson and creates colorful imagery in your head even without illustrations.  I would love for young children and their parents whom I have never met to have the opportunity to read and buy and enjoy my book as a family.  Joe, Eva and I read books together every night and although I rarely notice the authors names on the covers, those men and women have created many happy memories on the couch, on the floor and in our beds.  I'd love to be that for hundreds, hopefully even thousands, of other families.
Considering the 3 fundamental differences, I don't mind if this takes a few years and additional steps if in the end I have a credible, professional-looking book with the prestige of a Publishing House inside the cover and help with distribution and marketing.  

I want to make money on it, not spend it.  I'd feel much more like a writer if someone paid me for my talent, than spending my money to make it happen.

And I don't mind giving up significant control considering I'm not a pro on every (any) aspect of making a book.  Professional illustrations, formatting and editing could only improve what I've started.

Should I choose to write more in the future I'll be the "submitter" with a one-up on others trying to do this their first time, because I can say I'm a published author by this publishing house.

So my first decision was made - I will exhaust all efforts trying to publish traditionally and only if that fails will I turn to self-publishing.  On to my next decision which quickly became a non-decision.  As I started researching about illustrations I learned that traditional publishers prefer getting picture book manuscripts without pictures.  Who woulda thought?!  Thank God for the world wide web!

If you send a publisher a manuscript with pictures, four things could happen:

1. They like neither the story or the art.  Both of us are rejected.

2. They like the art, but not the story.  They may hire my illustrator for other work, but me and my manuscript are rejected.

3. They like the story, but not the art.  I get accepted, but the publisher wants to use their own illustrator so I've wasted thousands of my own dollars on my illustrator.

4. They like both and both are accepted.  (Highly, highly unlikely)

So there's decision #2.  I won't even worry about illustrations unless I get accepted by a publisher or have to resort to self-publishing.

I've performed quite a few more steps but will leave those for further Parts to this blog series.  Thanks for following my path!