Things I Learned and Observations During My 40-Day Facebook Ban

My naive little ill-informed self always thought Lent was for Catholics. Therefore I never thought it pertained to my Methodist religion.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I learned that's not the case.  This year I decided to participate in Lent for the first time and the thing I chose to give up was Facebook.  I knew I had an obsession with it and was on it way too much so I figured I'd go big my first year.  Here are some things I learned and other observations during those 40 days and 40 nights of taking Facebook out of my life.

1. I surprisingly didn't miss it.  Before I took the Facebook app off my iPhone I thought it was going to be really hard not to think about.  I thought I'd crave it, constantly wonder what others were posting, wonder what articles I was missing and what celebrity gossip I'd be unaware of, but I didn't.  It was as though the days of pre-Facebook instantly came back to me and there was no desire to know what everyones lives were about.  It was very liberating.

2. My fingers have memory/instincts.  Even though I didn't miss it, my right index finger did.  After I removed the Facebook app all my other apps moved over a space so where Facebook once was, now my weather app lied.  The first few days after getting out of my mail or some other app, my finger instantly clicked on the weather.  Every time I was on my phone!  Pure instinct.  I remember many times pre-Lent where I'd get on my phone to do something specific and a half hour later after getting off Facebook I'd realize I never did the thing I got on there to do.  I now know it was frying my brain and taking away the importance of the things I actually needed to accomplish. Actually, I knew that at the time, but I was in denial.

3. I focus more on my life instead of getting wrapped up in others.  I keep up with our parents and closest friends via phone, text, email and in person, as one should.  All those other "friends" are just background noise that I really shouldn't be concerned about.   The first thing I did when I got back on Facebook was a big purge.  I'd rather just have my real family and friends and people I have current things in common with see my posts and pictures.  I did miss sharing the latest cute things Eva said or did, or sharing pictures of fun days and events, but in the end, most of the people that really care about them got them in other ways.  I'm sure no one else missed them.  If you did, I'm sorry. They'll start again, but at a different pace.

4. I'm a procrastinator and my biggest vice was Facebook.  Okay, so I knew this already...it wasn't something I learned.  Whether it was in my car to keep me from getting home as soon, on the couch to keep me from going to bed or in the bed to keep me from going to sleep, I always thought I need to see the latest posts before I do my next thing. That was so ridiculous and obnoxious!  No I didn't!  At night after Eva is asleep I usually have a list of things that either need to get done or stuff I just want to do in my down time.  Many times though, pre-Lent, I'd first sit on the couch, open up Facebook and before I knew it I had been on there for 1-2 hours having accomplished nothing.  Then I'd drag my pathetic self with half-closed eyes up to bed thinking I absolutely hate myself right now. Once the ban started I found myself still using my phone in other ways to procrastinate - looking something up online, checking weather for the next day 5 times a day (it can't change that much!), checking my empty Amazon cart for no reason, deleting junk mail, looking up famous people on IMDB, job searching even though I'm not looking for a job.  One time I went on Wikipedia to learn about some serial killers.  What the hell?!  It was like I didn't know how to put my phone down.  As I started to get bored by all of these useless time-spenders and couldn't yet go back to Facebook I started putting my phone down more and actually accomplishing things that needed to get done, including sleep.

5. On night 7 without Facebook I actually dreamt about logging in. But even in my dream I was able to avoid the temptation.  However, I do believe I woke up immediately after, which is usually the case with nightmares.

6. My 2nd day of no Facebook I got a "where are you" email from Facebook.  TWO. DAYS.  It let me know how many messages and notifications I had as well as naming a few random people who had posted something during that time.  Do they really need to reach out after only 2 days?  And what's worse is I've never gotten this email before, which sadly proves I was on it every day.  I continued to get these emails on a daily basis.  It annoyed me so much that it actually validified my doing this.  It wasn't persuasive at all, which I think was their motive.

7. A week after removing the app from my phone I synced my phone to iTunes on my Mac.  Whenever I do this something weird usually happens like it'll add some of Joe's apps to my phone or add some of his songs to my playlists.  But as I was going to bed that night I got on my phone and low and behold the Facebook app was back.  That was the only thing that got added onto my phone that I didn't tell my computer to do.  I'm starting to think Facebook is either psychic, sorceress, stalking me or magic.  Delete.

8. This whole Lent thing is new to me.  I knew what it was but I had just never participated so I wasn't aware of all the rules.  Apparently on Sundays you're allowed to partake in your banished temptation.  I had started Lent thinking I couldn't look at Facebook for 40 days.  And even when I learned this little tidbit I had no desire to log on just because it was Sunday.  It actually kind of disgusted me thinking about it.  Almost like if I got on it would be a chore rather than something I'd want to do.  I foresaw a new and improved Jamie waiting at the end of the Lent tunnel who looks at Facebook on a much more restricted level.  I'll be on the Facebook diet, if you will.  Small healthy courses.

9. Did I mention that we also canceled our DirecTV on the same day I banned Facebook?  I felt like I was becoming Amish.  But it's true what they say.  Just like when you keep snacks out of your house so you don't eat them, it's easier to avoid screen time when it's not available. I've had this list of things to do since I became a stay at home mom and many still hadn't been crossed off.  That list has a lot more horizontal lines on it now.

10. Did I also mention that I started a hard-core diet and exercise regiment 2 weeks before Lent ended?  My life was spiraling into control!  After my first week of this diet I lost 5 pounds and a combined total of 3 inches off my bust, waist, hips and thighs.  I'm hoping to keep this going so I can be confident come bathing suit season which is fast-approaching.

11. It gave me more time to think about what I want out of life.  I always question the stay at home mom life vs the working mom life and it allowed me to contemplate it more, although I still haven't made a decision.  I went to bed more often at the same time as my husband, which is never bad for a marriage.  And because I went to bed earlier it allowed me to not be as tired when Eva woke up at her usual 5am.  I was a little more refreshed and in tune (except for those nights when she woke us up every 2 hours just to have her blankets readjusted). And I wasn't comparing my life to others that I don't even keep in touch with.  It allowed stupid envy to escape my body and I could more so enjoy what I have.


I do think Facebook has been a wonderful invention that allows people to keep in touch who wouldn't otherwise.  And has helped businesses and groups of people get their names out in public to become known and successful.  But it's also a curse because literally billions of people have diverted their focus from their own lives to others.  It's made bullying easier, it's caused countless infidelities, it's increased jealousy, it's wasted hours of time.  It's sickening to think on a global level how much could have gotten done over the past 11 years since Facebook started. If you take the total hours spent on Facebook by each of these billions of people ever since they each signed up, that's hundreds of billions of hours that we as a planet have limited ourselves from actually learning, teaching, inventing, helping, volunteering, figuring out our lives, spending time with others, working, playing with our kids, meditating, being spiritual and doing the things we love.  I definitely miss the days before Facebook entered my life.  But it's also become a way of life that is hard to avoid.  So I'll still be on, but not as much.



Thanks to my sister-in-law who started up a People subscription for me so I could stay abreast of my celebrity gossip that I usually rely on E! and Facebook for.  Thanks to Joe for finding a cheaper alternative for TV viewing.  We don't have nearly as many channels but we have the ones we watch the most and don't waste time channel surfing anymore. And thanks to my organizational skills for having a to-do list most days that kept me on task to get things done which distracted me from my Facebook desires early on.  Oh yea, and thanks to salads.